And the teacher's answer was "To be peaceful for you, useful for them."
This has never been more true than in motherhood. I was in Thailand on retreat when I heard this, and it rang true then. Now, it seems there is really no other way.
So this morning, as soon as the nugget was asleep for his morning nap - instead of doing the dishes, answering emails, folding the laundry, straightening the living room, writing a to-do list, making phone calls or catching up on my blog reading, I sat. I sat on my pillow and observed a mind that was fighting every moment. I wanted to get up a hundred times. But I didn't. Instead, I decided to just breath and stay on the cushion. The point is to be where you are - and today I was able to sit and breathe.
And though it was only fifteen or so minutes, something about today was different. Something about me was different.
So, find your tools - do the things that create inner peace and calm for you.
Whoever and whatever your "them" are, they will thank you for it.
I often only sit for fifteen minutes once a week, which I figure is still fifteen minutes more than not that.
ReplyDeleteAnd sometimes, I am amazed when it's over. It will have felt like one minute. Or ten years. Or both. Either way, it always come as sweet relief, to stop fighting the fighting mind.
Found you through Karen Maezen Miller, by the way.