In the childbirth class that we took before the nugget's birth, our teacher Nancy Bardacke would often remind us that I was "Giving birth to our mindfulness teacher." I always thought I knew what she meant.
Today at Spirit Rock, surrounded by other mamas and papas, I really began to realize what she was talking about. You see, since this class started just a few weeks ago - so much has already changed. The baby who was at one point content to lie on the floor and suck on one of Sophie's limbs for at least part of the seated meditation turned into the baby who could sit up and be content with my keys and the new wooden car that grand-ma bought. Then, in just two weeks, that baby turned into an active 7 month old who can pull himself up on my pants and who seems to look at every little detail in his new world with a devouring and insatiable desire. Needless to say, there was little meditation or "paying attention" for me today. At least in the way that it used to look.
And when I realized that I would not be participating in the class today in the way that I would have without a baby or with a younger, more serene baby, I realized that what he was forcing me to do was to be in the present moment. His present moment - where everything is new and interesting and magical.
So everything always changes and live in the present moment - two lessons to learn over and over again.
02 November 2009
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