In the still of the night

It's 3am.

There is a husband sleeping on the second bed we've set up on the couch in the living room.

There is a nugget sprawled out in the middle of our queen size bed in the bedroom.

And then there is me - wide awake.

That is the brutal irony of being a new mom - suddenly all are asleep and quiet and you are awake with a mind that is racing with to-do lists and half-started projects. But somehow tonight is different. I am usually able to go right back to sleep after the nugget has woken me up, but tonight my eyes wouldn't close. Instead, I simply listened to the sound of nothing. No whimpers or cries to discern, no jack hammers loosening the tiles in the courtyard, no end of day conversations, no demands, no decisions, just silence.

I have read that some women indulge in the quiet of the morning - the time before everything and everyone stirs, the time perhaps for themselves. I am certain that it is later in the early morning, probably not 3am but I will work on that.

For now, it was just the amount of me time that I needed. Now I just need to decide who I should go snuggle with.